accommodations

I don’t know how to ask without begging, and if my voice shakes I’m asking you to please

pretend

it sounds like a wave rather than a warning,

a hum,

not a siren.

I have fallen at others’ feet

over and over again

with men commanding I kiss theirs while binding my own.

I sit at the table of ‘let’s play pretend’ with a smile and a quip and

you will never know the density of my illness

because it is pinned to my body like an insect to glass

with neon sneakers and tulle skirts and saucer sized earrings.

OverCompensating Dress

is how I chameleon a

white-trash trauma heart into a pretty little suburb

with just the right feet,

the ones whose prints leave

a bloodied inkblot pattern

in porcelain white paths.

Do you feel the ocean, the pull—

Do you hear water’s gentle song calling you home

when you’re drowning?

Can you speak it right back and say,

I’ll never be clean but

pleasefortheloveofGod

see me as worthy

anyway

//

Shirt: American Eagle

Skirt: Boutique, independent

Shoes: Air Jordans